Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Where's My Clone? And Other Questions From One Writer's Heart

E made her confirmation Sunday with Jewel at her side. The ceremony was very touching, especially in light of how far she's come. Afterward, we celebrated with family and friends.

This morning E practiced for graduation with the rest of her class. The ceremony is tonight. E's sister S needs to arrive 45 minutes early because the choir's singing at the ceremony.

Have I had time to sit butt in chair given the excitement of the last couple of weeks? Aside from a scribble here and a note there, no. I'd love to say otherwise. I'd love to report that I've produced chapter upon chapter in my latest re-visioning of KM. Saying so would mean lying to myself and my muse.

I've a twinge of guilt thinking about how many days have gone by without communing with my characters. But here's the thing: I'd feel even more guilt--life-long guilt--if I didn't enjoy these last few weeks to their fullest, giving my daughters their all as they wrap up another school year.

My characters can wait. Concerts, confirmation and graduation are life events that come only once.

Am I rationalizing? I hope not. I prefer to embrace the belief that even when we're not writing, we're feeding our muse. I'm reminded of advice once given by a former Vermont College writing advisor of mine, Jane Resh Thomas. Once in a letter or workshop, she said the following (in a much more eloquent way):

As writers we must embrace the lives we've been given. We must live in the world, not outside of it, because it is from our experiences that our stories are born.

Given Jane's quote, I prefer to believe that if we don't embrace our lives to their fullest, anything else is fiction.

In the midst of it all, I can't help but look backward as I look forward.

Wasn't so long ago that we were wondering whether E'd make it through her 10th birthday. She's come so far since then. From standing at death's door after suffering an ruptured brain aneurysm to learning to walk and talk again to where we are today: looking forward to freshman year of high school, and worrying about what to wear under her graduation gown.

I've been quick to tears all day.

More later when things calm down.

Edited 5:45 p.m.

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