Battle Report: E's IEP Meeting, Assumptions, Enlightenment, and *gasp* New Hope for a Writer's Life

The showdown went better than expected on Monday.

One word sums up how the high school views/deals with kids with disabilities: enlightened.

A large part of me wants to trust the talk. Another part--a more vocal part--hesitates. Why? We've been burned too often by assuming key team members for any given school year were reading our children's IEPs and planning ahead on how best to implement what was outlined there. We also mistakenly assumed that team members felt empowered by administration to ask for the resources they needed in order to provide for our girls (as outlined in the IEP).

Silly us, we assumed the IEP was worth something more than the paper it's written on.

What we've learned over the years: Don't assume the IEP is enough to make things happen.

Yes, parenting a child with special needs is exhausting. Yes, the IEP is a contract. No, even though it's a contract between you, the school, and the State Board of Education, you can't assume it will be followed.

No matter how exhausted you might feel, no matter how often you wish you had a true advocate on the inside, the only true advocate for your child is you.

This means finding creative ways to check up on and check in with your child's IEP team...ways other than parking your butt in your child's classroom to ensure the right things are happening. I've friends who meet monthly with the team to ensure what's outlined is actually being done. Others require logs be completed so behavior can be tracked and modifications made as needed to foster greater independence. We visit, trade emails, and use a communication notebook so we can keep in regular contact with the teacher.

Finding reliable ways to keep in touch with your child's teacher and other team members is especially important if your child (like mine) is unable to articulate whether or not something's being implemented. For example, because of E's extremely small size (imagine a child the size of a two year old playing team sports with eighth graders), gym class requires creative modifications to allow for safe participation. Unfortunately, this follow through doesn't always happen.

In sixth grade, one of E's units was volleyball. I assumed the teacher would ask E to serve the net with a beach ball or the equivalent. The teacher, apparently unable to see past the double class she was teaching to think creatively about how E might be included in play, determined E should sit out instead. I found out about this decision after the fact. Um, no.

Enter the high school at Monday's meeting. Turns out, they offer an adaptive PE class. We lobbied without success for the middle school to put one of these in place. The school thought it was doing an adequate job without one. The opinion of a former PE teacher of E's: modifying the game so E can play would mean impinging on the rights of the other children. Excuse me? P physically held me down in my seat to keep me from launching myself at the teacher.

The ADA laws were made for ignorant people like that. Seems to me the values she's instilling in her young charges have more to do with winning than about teamwork and opportunity and honoring differently abled peers.

Learning that the high school has a PE class dedicated to adapting activities as needed only added to my opinion of the team in charge there. I like the talk. I want to believe it. After years of bird dogging E's and S's various IEP teams, I'm left with hope. Hope that finally, we've found a team we can trust.

I can taste the possibilities. Trust in the team, means less meetings, less micro-managing. An opportunity to redirect my time and energy, and pursue my true passion: Writing.

Summer school for E will prove whether or not the talk is only talk. *crosses fingers and toes* Here's hoping the high school team makes good on its promises.

Edited: 12:42 p.m.

Showdown at High Noon--E's IEP Meeting Today

P and I attend the second part of E's IEP (Individualized Educational Plan) meeting today. The first part, held a couple weeks ago, was held to hear results of tests assessing where E's at intellectually/socially/physically/etc. since the last time she was reviewed, and to determine her eligibility for special ed supports and services for next year.

That was the easy part.

We meet at noon today to finalize a transitional plan from middle school to high school, to discuss and write goals for the next year, and to approve accommodations so that E is guaranteed equal access to her education, and related before- and after-school activities.

Between both of our younger girls, we've attended at least two dozen of these meetings over the years. We should be experts at it. We're not. And unfortunately the longer I'm in the system, the more I realize that the special ed child's advocate isn't the classroom teacher, the school principal or the rep from special ed making sure the papers are completed properly. The ONLY true advocate for a special needs child is the child's parent. (Which makes the IEP only as good as the paper it's written on, unless that parent has the time/patience/energy willing to ride the system to make it otherwise.)

Fie! Without a doubt, thinking about attending these meetings leaves me feeling as if I must gird my loins and pay obeisance to the gods to ensure a successful battle.

If you're reading this post between noon and three central standard time, wish us luck.

Appetite for writing: Ravenous, but will have to wait until after our marathon meeting. Hmmm. Perhaps our real-life battle will inspire some good scenes for KM.

Wild About Art and Music

We attended the girls' art and music show last night. Fabulous. Chorus with S included a refreshing mix of traditional and contemporary numbers. Some of the more avant garde selections: basketballs bounced to a hip-hop number, and pulsing glow wands and glasses timed to the music. The art show featured artwork in various mediums by S and E and their classmates, and live demonstrations by a potter and jewelry maker.

Of particular note: the lively, interactive shows seemed to engage everyone, even the most reluctant and/or inexperienced art afficionados. As a writer I can't help but believe this observation relevant for my own art. Questions that come to mind:

1. How can I as a writer apply the show's successful elements to my own art?

2. What will engage my readers so completely that when they close my book they'll be compelled to shout about it?

3. These and other questions will be on my mind as I continue my forward progress through KM, which by the way, has undergone a major transformation thanks to insights gained during last weekend's retreat.

Retreat Report

The retreat was awesome. Twenty of us attended, all in different places in our writing lives, most everyone seeking uninterrupted time to connect, discuss craft, and write.

The Cenacle retreat center was an excellent choice. Run by the Cenacle Sisters, the center offers groups and individuals opportunities for community, communion with spirit, inner reflection, most anything the personal journey requires.

Located along a tree-lined street in the heart of Chicago's Lincoln Park neighborhood, we were walking distance from Starbucks, Lincoln Park Zoo, and Lake Michigan. The food was tasty, the company delicious, and the price was right...a fraction of the cost of Vermont College, yet the weekend left me feeling invigorated, energized, and inspired, in much the same way I felt after returning home from a residency at VC.

Writing wise, my muse must have loved the set up. On Saturday alone I wrote 10 new pages for KM.

On my must-do-again-soon list: booking a room at the center for myself (they even offer very reasonable day rates) in a couple or three months. The price is right, and the benefits to my muse immeasurable.

Career Day, Writing Prompts, and Retreats

I spent much of today finalizing my presentation for tomorrow's Career Day at the girls' school, collecting props for said presentation, and making lists of what I'll need for my SCBWI Illinois writer's retreat over the weekend.

Tomorrow, after chatting with the students about my writer's life, I've allowed time for a writing exercise. With the help of my fifth grader S, I've drafted the beginning of a quirky little story about a fifth grader and her not so ordinary dog, Princess. My plan is to start the groups off with our beginning, then prompt them to help me finish the story. At the end, we'll reread what we've written together. My fingers are crossed that my audience is willing to play, and that we have a good time doing it.

After my stint at Career Day, I plan to head back home, pay bills (never a fun activity, which is why I always put it off till the last minute), finish packing, load the car and head out.

Looking forward to a weekend's worth of uninterrupted time with KM. My butt in chair time this week had been lighter than usual, and my characters are crabby because of it.

Writerly To-Dos

1. Finalize presentation for Career Day at school Friday. Tools of the trade I plan to bring along: my trusty notebook, my lucky purple pen, notecards, computer, a stack of books featuring some of my favorites for fifth graders, excerpts from my current work-in-progress, poems by Jack Prelutsky, and a short writing exercise (yet to be determined.)

2. Prep for Saturday's Easter Seals Telethon interview in which Elena and Jewel will be interviewed, and I'll have a chance to talk up "Special Gifts: Women Writers on the Happiness, the Heartache and the Hope of Raising a Special Needs Child" (Wyatt-Mackenzie, June 2007).

3. Packing for the SCBWI Illinois Writer's Retreat to be held at the Cenacle Retreat Center near Lincoln Park in Chicago. Writers in residence will feature Sharon Darrow and Carmela Martino.

The focus of the weekend: character, relaxation, networking, and writing.

Our reading homework: The Higher Power of Lucky.

My packing list so far in no particular order:

*computer
*notecards
*basket of KM revisions, notes, notebooks
*yoga dvd
*craft book--either The Writing Life by Anne Dillard or Writing Past Dark: Envy, *Fear, Distraction, and Other Dilemmas in the Writer's Life by Bonnie Friedman.
*children's books for the book swap
*picture books featuring characters I love

Current read: The New Kid on the Block, poems by Jack Prelutsky (snagged for 25 cents at a church rummage sale last week.)

Attention Children's Book Writers: Free Promo Opportunity

Gaaked off a children's writer list:

Hey, writers,

If you have a new children's book coming out, visit the National Writing for Children Center to find out how you can be a guest on our weekly podcast,
Book Bites for Kids. We're now scheduling authors for June podcasts.

Thanks.

Suzanne Lieurance
Founder, Director, and Coaching Coordinator
The National Writing for Children Center
P.O. Box 8422
Kansas City, Missouri 64114
http://www.writingforchildrencenter.com